Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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