Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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