so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
