Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
