that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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