Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
