You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
