hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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