Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
