if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i believe in u and ur pee
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
