My nipple is on Facebook.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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