Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize