i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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