dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
