Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
