I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
