how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize