I want to make a zoo with you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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