The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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