There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
