i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
