Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
