She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
