Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
God, I missed his penis.
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