I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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