So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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