is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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