dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
