so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
