my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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