youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
