can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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