Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
