you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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