I love black thongs
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
