Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
