is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
