Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
