Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
