glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
