And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We had sex on a dog bed..
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
