I just made out with a guy for $7.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
