I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
