dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
