Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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