I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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