that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
