why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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