i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
