hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
