So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize