I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
