Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
40s are totally the cure
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
