I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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