Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
