He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize