STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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