Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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