His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize