Swine flu is the new snow day.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
