just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
